Ok, ok, I guess I can appreciate the “snobby” beers that you all drink. Your Belgians and crafts tasting of ‘hints of citrus’ and ‘hop heavy’ and ‘like licking a chocolate-covered caramel dipped in mocha and infused with hints of vanilla and cinnamon.’ Blah, blah, blah. It’s time for a real beer. It’s time for a real man’s beer. Its Miller time. Miller Genuine Draft to be exact.

While the conditions of my review may seem at first less than ideal to critique, I would argue that bundled up in my long johns, exhaling icicles, surrounded by thousands of blue-and-orange-clad screaming fans is the perfect situation to sample and analyze Miller Genuine Draft. We were but a few steps in to Soldier Field Stadium when my friend and host offered to buy a round of brewskis. The MGD poured cold, crisp and, unfortunately, pee-colored into a classy plastic pint. It was American big brewery at its finest. It was straw colored, light and transparent with a few bubbles suffocating to the top, popping through a non-existent head. Retention was absent, but that didn’t matter. It was cold, oh so cold, and unlike many beers, getting finer as they ‘warm’ to room temperature, the 20 degree evening in downtown Chicago helped the brew get even colder after escaping out of its keg a few moments before. It tasted citrusy and yeast and beer-y. Oh, and it was cold! The constant air refrigeration actually made the potentially unappetizing taste more than palpable. It went down too easy, easy enough to have a few more and realize that the 12 degrees below freezing no longer felt so cold.

While I most often appreciate beers for their complexity or for their subtleness of flavors, sometimes I appreciate a beer for the situation. The Bears game is no place to have your hands cupped around a precious pint of strong dark ale or be sipping delicately on an oatmeal stout. No, football needs a beer like this one and so I am forced to grade twice.

ABV: 4.6%

MGD any other night: C-

MGD 17 rows up at Soldier Field in 20 degree weather and downed with good friends and great football: A